Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
