Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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