I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
