i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
