i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
