thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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