Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
