The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
