Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
