He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
