can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
