My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
