my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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