In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
