Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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