im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm too high and old for this...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
