It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
