:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
