Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
