i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
