You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
