i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
