I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
