It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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