You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
