Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
