I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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