Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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