I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
