Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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