Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize