let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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