You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
