Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize