I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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