The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
