I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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