I wish I could teleport
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
