i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
