last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
