It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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