I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
