Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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