Someone shit on the floor
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
