Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
