I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
