I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
