The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
