his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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