yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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