It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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