so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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