Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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