last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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