lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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