then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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