I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
