Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
