ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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