What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
