three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
