Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
