Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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