weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
