I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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