i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
