If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
