Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
