i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
