you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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