Your tits are I can't wait for
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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