Dual....:-)
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
