no, he came in my armpit
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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