Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
