Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
