this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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